Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Oh, Daddy.

It started out barely as a touch.
Secrets lies and fear, they controlled me
Then by six was more by so much.
Stolen childhood, by the way he'd scold me

Beat me bloody but I cried never.
Fists stopped hitting, hands stopped touching,
But those words, they'll stay forever.
And I much prefered his painful punching

"You fat pig", "You worthless cow",
"You lazy whore", they are still here.
Loud and clear I hear him now
All his screaming taunts echo in my ear

Though several years it has been,
I dream his face, his angry eyes,
And I carry on what happened back then.
I keep his secrets, I tell the lies.

I still tell myself those words he screamed.
I continue on with all his abuses.
I deny myself pleasure, hope, and dreams,
Food, love, happiness, and I make no excuses.

I watch myself suffer and find sick pleasure.
In my way, it's how I prove him wrong.
In my scars, I find my own sweet treasure.
In my pain, I make myself strong.

At times, I wish I were safe.
At times, I wish I were sane.
But I know it's far too late,
And still I accept the blame.


  1. Love the rhyming. child abuse is such a common and yet unspoken thing.

  2. Thank you for your courage to write about such painful memories. Someone will read this and know that they are not alone and that they will survive too.- G