Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Southern Love

Okay so I live in the gun-loving, deer-hunting, coon-chasing, dip-chewing, tabacco-spitting, beer-guzzling South. Bred and born in the heart of Virginia. Thus, I've grown up listening to country music. To be quite frank (even though I'm not. I'm actually Nova. Shut up. That wasn't a bad joke.), it's probably the only Southern thing that has stuck itself to me. And I love four wheelers, especially when it's nasty and muddy and it takes an extra three feet to stop 'cause you're sliding like Wilbur in a buttermilk bath. Otherwise, I'm a vegetarian and a extremist liberal. Sometimes you might catch me calling myself a punk third-wave feminism aesthetic. See, a majority of the time the children that grow up in the south go one of two ways.

Road A, they take on the ever so admirable title of "redneck" and have all the amazing attributes the South has to offer. You can commonly find them hanging out on the beds of their pick-up trucks in the Wal-Mart parking lot. They party hard with a baby on their hip. Most of these individuals don't make it too far from the cesspool of the small town they were raised in. Sometimes they do migrate a few miles to the neighboring country should they find a worthy mate. Their favorite past time can range from skinning a deer to tailgating at a home football game.

Road 2, those who choose to embark on this epic journey shun everything having to do with their culture. These are can be classified into several different categories and the subjects may range from gothic to drama geek to basically every cliqué that isn't "redneck". They bash country music, they shun four wheeling, and God forbid they ever participate in a shotgun wedding. Some of them will cry if they break a nail and others will protest the biting of nails because they have "feelings"! 

Road A or Road 2, is it really a choice on which you take? Or are you just basically screwed for life like me 'cause you just had to be born in the gun-loving, deer-hunting, coon-chasing, dip-chewing, tabacco-spitting, beer-guzzling South?


  1. i'm like a mixture....

    although rednecks deserve a good smack in the face...

  2. Though Ohio isn't technically a part of the south, there are plenty of "gun-loving, deer-hunting, coon-chasing, dip-chewing, tabacco-spitting, beer-guzzling" types here in Chillicothe ;)
    I certainly don't shun the culture I come from, but I can't say I'm a part of it. I don't like to think of it as turning my back on it as much as It's never really been my thing.
    If that makes any sense.