Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Future Husband

This is probably one of my favorite games. Best played when you have a bunch of hyper, under-stimulated, so called "geeks" and a room full of unsuspecting prey. I feel like a lioness when I play. I watch and stalk my victim. My choice is always carefully selected and when I'm ready...I pounce!

Not really. If I randomly pounced on a stranger and screaming "YOU'RE MY FUTURE HUSBAND!!!", I'd probably get punched in the ovaries and I quite like my ovaries not getting punched. Instead this is how it really goes down:

Blonde 1: Guy in the black pea coat sitting in front of the water dispenser.

Blonde 2: I don't see him! Where?

Nova: You're the freakishly tall one. How can you not see him? He's next to girl in maroon too short dress.

Blonde 2: Hey! We need a camera so we can get his picture so I can see my future hubby's face.

Blonde 1: Don't look at me.

Nova: -pulls a camera from her handy dandy female jockstrap- A camera like this?

Blonde 1: You know you wouldn't even have to ask to take his picture. Just pull the camera out of there again and the guys'll be begging for it.

Blonde 2: Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Nova: He...he...he...not cool. Okay, go take the picture.

Blonde 1: I'm not touching that thing.

Blonde 2: You can do it, Nova. Just act like you're getting a bottle of water.

Nova: I don't have any money.

Blonde 2: You don't need money. Just look at them like you're not sure which to choose.

Nova: But...they are all water...

Blonde 1 & 2: -demonic voices- GO! DO IT! NOW!! GOOOO!

So against my better judgement I went. My camera was on and set to the blur reduction mode 'cause this was going to have to happen quick. The room we were in was a cafeteria and there were probably a good sixty or seventy people in there. I started slow, walking along a table of untrusting faces as they watched me advance. Nervously, I avoided their glares and spun around to be back to back with a cool column, holding my camera up like a pistol and I'm 007. I feel eyes targeting in on me from all around and I try to keep cool but it's not working. I retreat.

Nova: I can't doooo it!!

Blonde 1: Yes you can! Now go!!

This little action segue occurs several more times. Finally I got a friend to sneak me over there under the pretense of conversation. Unsuspecting fools. I snapped pictures repeatedly and managed to capture a few lucky shots. I did all of this for them and who is my future husband? Oh because of my hard work, I got to pick. Boy with cat ears that SHHs people or boy who sings Lady GaGa and starts dancing circles.

Wanna roll with him a hard pair, we will be.

A little gambling is fun when you're with me, I love it.
Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun
And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun, fun.

I apologize for the absolute lameness of this post.

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