Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Friend Whore

You know what really pisses me off? Besides when people mix up simple things like "your" and "you're" and emus. Bad insults. And I'm being totally serious. Note the serious emoticon ->  -.-

See I believe if you're [YOU'RE!] going to insult someone, namely me, then do it well! Here, I'll even give you some examples as to what I would consider a good insult against me.

Idiot: You have a lumpy butt.
Idiot: Your hair looks like you just had sex but not good sex. Like so bad, he faked it.
Idiot: When you talk, I can tolerate your voice. It's when I have to look at you that I suffer.
Idiot: Sometimes, I think I like you but then I remember who I'm thinking about.
Idiot: Your mom is an emu.

Okay that last one isn't really directed towards me but if someone said that, I'd cry. I'd break down and sob little girl tears. And isn't that the main point of insults?

Yes, yes it is.

Now Arch Nemesis, oh Arch Nemesis, he thinks he is extremely clever. But he isn't. And I'm not JUST saying this because I loathe him with a firey passion that would burn a bhut jolokia's tongue. I'm saying this because he really isn't clever. His insults towards me are the insults that Mr. Rogers on crack would use.

Arch Nemesis: You're a whore.
Arch Nemesis: Nobody likes you.
Arch Nemesis: You're intolerable.
Arch Nemesis: You're an idiot AND a moron.

Well...actually I think even Mr. Rogers on crack could come up with some more original put downs. However, Arch Nemesis's latest insult? I don't even understand it.

Arch Nemesis: You're a friend whore.

A FRIEND WHORE?? What...the...no, just no. That's not even good enough to be considered an insult because he then had to elaborate what he meant. Apparently, a friend whore is someone who has randomly adds friends of friends on a certain social networking site and then leeches onto them, sucking their profile like a parasite for anything possible. He didn't even explain it that well. I had to take liberties with his description because he even fails at describing his own lame "insult". He tried to use our mutal friends as an example. We have maybe twenty-something in common. All but four are our classmates we spend every day with together. One of the four I met during a competition. One of them is Bestest. And the final two, well, okay maybe I don't know them but the girl requested me and I felt obligated to request her boyfriend because he's a huge part of her life. I even took the time of my busy schedule to explain this and how does he repay me? Psh, he runs away.

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