The other night, I had a small crisis of self. As most are aware, I pride myself on my ability to perform and act. The past several months, however, I have been lacking in the talent I once expressed. It could be a loss of inspiration or connection to the work. Or maybe it just isn't what I'm meant to pursue in my life.
I sent this to my mother through a text message during my little breakdown:
"Acting is the only thing I'm good at. Without it, I have nothing. I am nothing."
Of course, she very quickly pointed out that that statement in entirely untrue. Her counterargument was the fact I wish to follow a career in social work, most likely in the field of child protective services. At first and for several hours afterwards, I was dumbfounded as to how she thought my choice in career was something that made me special, unique, better.
"Being empathetic is something most people don't have. You don't realize it because you have experienced it your whole life but the majority of people cannot connect to others and put their heart into the problems of strangers. That is what makes you who you are, not acting. Caring."
I guess my mom is right though. I mean, I can be a bitch. Probably, at times, one of the worst you'll ever meet. And when I get hurt, sometimes my initial reaction is to hurt back. However, when it comes to someone in need, I don't care if it the person I dislike the most or someone who loathes me, I will be there for them. I realize not everyone can say that and actually mean it. So maybe I am special.
Only time will tell.