Hold Myself Instead

Lying in this room alone,
Listless, languid bed,
No one here, this isn't home.
I'll hold myself instead.

Anger, hatred, loneliness,
Hanging by a thread,
Fighting through the bitterness,
I'll hold myself instead.

Unfamiliar, distant land,
New ground I've never tread.
Groping for a friendly hand.
I'll hold myself instead.

A distant twinkle in the night,
A ray of light is shed,
Coming closer, shining bright.
I'll hold myself instead.

Loving things, the light does say
In confidence's stead,
I'll do it on my own one day.
I'll hold myself instead.

Reaching up, reaching out,
Trying to see ahead,
Erasing fear, erasing doubt,
I'll hold myself instead.


And in this cold, cruel, lonely world,
My face is white with dread.
But fists are clenched, toes are curled,
I hold myself instead.