Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Something Funny

I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to Allie and I promise you that is not an understatement. That girl is frickin' high-larry-us (yes. shut up. i spelled it that way. it's hilarious, in case you're an idiot.) and...I forgot what I was going to say here. My point is...when I grow up, I wanna be awesome like Allie. And there are many reasons why this is my new life goal. Let me give you some examples of why.

1) It's obvious that Boyfriend has some jealousy issues because she's so awesome and he can only aspire to be as awesome yet he knows he can't. And she adores him even though he killed Phineus, her beautiful pet unicorn. BUT her love for the amazing Michael Cera is even more so addicting. I mean, there are even graphs!!

2) She's too good for medication which is something I can relate to since I've had my fair share of drugs shoved down my throat 'cause they think the voices up there aren't my friends (not that i really hear voices...shut i won't tell them you like to think of them naked...'cause they'll freak out...would you just shut up!?). And she found a wicked, creepy clown train picture to post on her page. That just scored her a bajillion and mazaillion extra points.

3) When all else fails and certain people named Kyle, who like to lick pennies and should choke on daisy petals, are jerks, she's a magnificient stripper. I mean, there's just a certain level of sexiness that transcends all language barriers, races, species, galaxies and trust me, Allie has it in a million different ways, especially with her delicious lion crawl.

4) Letters. Yes you heard me. Letters. Not like "A B C" letters 'cause those make words and words make the type of letters I'm talking about now. All of them are astounding but her grace and poise in this one letter in particular just showcase her remarkable dignity.

5) And she's so willing to try new things. Most people nowadays will shirk away from adventures and hide themselves away from the thrill but not this girl. She's even willing to risk her life...yeah I lost where I was going with this final point...

Now I really wanted to write a super long post (which Allie [see above notations] excels at) but I find I'm lacking words to type on this certain post and thus I am going to enter extra words to make it seem as if I am succeeding at being a good amount more intelligent and witty than I truly could ever even aspire to be. Besides, I'm not funny. Well not when I write. In reality which sadly is the world I have to live in, I'm frickin' hilarious (high-larry-us, for those of you who had such an issue with my previous usage of that word. is "usage" a word? oh well i just used it as a word. deal with it.) Maybe it's me being laughed AT but I'll take it as long as the person is laughing. Unless I fall. Then they shouldn't laugh. But they tend to laugh even more then. Which makes me mad at them. So I storm off. And they laugh more 'cause I look insanely stupid when I storm off after falling 'cause I'm most likely hurt so I sort of hobble away like a hobbit.

OH! I have to pee. I'll be right back.

So apparently the restroom was closed temporarily so I had to go on this hunt for the biology lab to find the unisex bathroom. It was like some sort of Indiana Jones adventure. Danger was lurking around every corner (really. it was a long journey through a door, down the hall, and take a left.) My heart was racing inside my chest 'cause that's where it always is. One step almost proved to be fatal but not for me! For my mom. I accidently stepped on a crack in the tile and that must have surely broken her back. And at one point, I even had to drop to the ground and roll around a corner 'cause the upcoming room was empty and it terrified me and when I'm scared, weird things happen. But I'm okay with that 'cause I eventually found the bathroom and yes, I PEED! But not in the bathroom, well in the bathroom but not just like on the floor. I'm not like that. Are you? It's okay if you are. Just don't use my bathroom unless you clean up after yourself 'cause that's kind of nasty. You freak. I, there's not a nicer way to put that. If you pee on my bathroom floor, I'll force feed you lime Jell-o 'cause you're a freak. But I bet you'd like being force fed lime Jell-o...

I probably should do something productive. The college doesn't have these computers just to have them. I think we're actually supposed to do work or something. Especially since I'm in class right now. But I can't focus on whatever essay I'm technically pretending to write right now (ha write, right. well i though it was funny) 'cause I got on here just to check the people I creepily follow like an obsessive little stalker who wants to collect their hair and make a look-a-like doll to sleep with each night (yes, i'm talking about Allie).

I just realized how weird that really sounds. Damn. I need to stop trying to be funny on my blog. It's not working. Actually, I think I'm coming off more psychopathic (a word? i like it's usage even if it isn't. ha. prior joke.) than high larry us (ha. another prior joke. they make sense if you read above. i really hope you didn't just scroll to the end. that'd be weird...) Okay, I think I'm going to stop 'cause this professor keeps glaring at me. Except he really doesn't glare. He's too much like Mr. Rogers (see youtube or something. i don't know.)

Okay. I'm stopping.





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