Thursday, January 7, 2010

Darling Paul**

I need not your sympathy,
And please keep your pathetic pity.
There's no need even to pretend.
You're the fakest kind of friend.

Your so called love is ever so toxic,
And all you think with is your tiny dick.
You always got off on me crying,
Yet now babe, I'm through with trying.

Time and time you would apologize,
But I'm giving up on this life of lies.
There were one too many promises broke.
Now I've realized just in time, you're a joke.

So please don't text me or write or call.
I don't wanna hear from you at all.
When you said you cared, I should've known,
But now I hope you die alone.

You may think you're oh so smart and cute and amazing because some dumb girl told you that. Well, okay, maybe it WAS me who said that but you had me fooled. I think I didn't suspect you because you look like an 11 year old boy that is about twenty years from puberty. Do you even have armpit hair? No? I didn't think so. Not that it matters because I'm sure your new girlfriend quite enjoys your hairless, pre-pubescent body. And you may THINK that is jealousy but I assure you it is most definitely not. I prefer men who don't have to change their sheets daily from "accidents". But in all sincerity, you suck. You stated on Friday, December 18th, 2009 and I quote,

"I promise I'll do everything I can not to hurt you and I will never walk away."

Did you forget about that? I don't think you did. You never forgot anything we said to each other. I think maybe, just maybe, you...LIED....shocking, huh? Not that I care. I'm perfectly okay losing my bestest. I meeeeean, I'm sexy. I'm intelligent. I'm clever and witty and sarcastic and sweet and considerate and kind and popular and charismatic and fuckin' hilarious and so many other adjectives that I'm too modest to type. Now I have just one last thing I'd like to say and that is:

If I had a penis, I would tell you to suck it. Except you probably would enjoy it too much so I hope you get gout in your big left toe, your hair falls out by the time you're twenty-six, a rabbit furry rapes you in a dark back alley, and your testicles finally drop. Hugs and kisses for you, my bestest!!

**Names may have been changed to protect the not so innocent...
But they really weren't.

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