Five bucks.

Wanna make a bet?

I'll forget this password and account within two weeks. I'm never very good at blogs. Not even good at journals in reality. But I can try at least. I think I have three livejournals in cyber space. It's not so much the act of writing on these but the commitment they take. That, my dear friends, is where I struggle. Commiting to something, someone, is not exactly my forte (should that be forté?) but I try. I really do. I'm a lot better than I used to be. A good example would be I just got out of a six month relationship. Not bad, huh? Half a year of my life with one person. Prior to this, my longest consisted of...two-ish months? That was an amazing record. Every other relationship was lucky if it made it to three weeks. So six months? I'm proud of that. I think that's the longest I've ever been commited to someone besides family. Not even friends last that long.

Except for my best friend. My Jason. He's been the one who's helped me work through so much. I so thank him for my new found levels of commitment, self-esteem, and happiness.

As for now, I have a new beau. Kevin. And he'll probably read this so...Hi, deer. He's kind of amazing. No...he IS amazing. I could write and write and write and probably never describe how cool and wicked he is. And yes, he is a conservative so that's going to be a bit...tricky... But I find him to be worth it. So, so worth it. Thus far. I want to do things right this time, ya know? I'm not the type of girl who really does forever but I don't wanna screw up for a few months at least. ;)

I probably should do something productive like...not this? Ha. I have eight hours until my crops are ready, two days before I have to feed my fish, and no more work that is due this week. I'm good for a while I guess. So I could just keep typing into a blog that nobody will pay any attention to. Seems like that's what I'm doing. Ah....

I wish you were here,
So I could make what I'm thinking real.
I wanna show you how I feel,
As I hold you as close to me,
As close to me as I'll let anyone be.
'Cause this time I wanna do things right,
And I wish you here so I could prove that,
With my kiss tonight.

So many miles away yet I close my eyes,
And there's your body against mine once more,
And all these feelings I wanna explore.
Your arms around tight around my waist.
Wake me up now and I'll still have your taste.
But please don't, just let me dream of you,
'Cause when you're so far,
So far away, this has to make do.

TBC? Don't know yet.