Thursday, January 27, 2011

A Quote to Think on

"You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry."

I think this is one of my new favorite quotes. To be honest, I'm a bit of a sucker for quotes. Sometimes I simply get online just to look them up. For some reason, it makes me feel a little more secure. I guess it's because when I read a quote which I identify with, it reminds me that there are others who sometimes feel the way I do. Other times, it's because they've said exactly what I wanted to say but couldn't find the words. 
The reason I love this quote, I can't justly explain.

Maybe because my heart believes it to be true. Knowing what brings tears to someone's eyes is usually a very intimate fact and once you reach a point where you're allowed to see that raw and vulnerable side, your relationship takes on a more personal tone. I feel if I can trust someone enough to see me cry when I'm sad, then I would struggle daily if I lost them.

But maybe not. Maybe not because my head believes it is a lie. In today's world where people who have known each other a day profess their undying love for one another and a week later have a new beloved, emotions and intimacy are kind of jokes. Take me for example. I trust too easily yet I never trust enough to give myself fully. At any given point in a relationship, I can shut myself down and walk away without blinking an eye. But when I turn my back on that person, chances are that he knows more than I should have ever let him know.

I'm not as afraid as I used to be of telling people what I really feel and how their words wound me. But I still do not cry in front of my friends because I don't want them to see me as weak or pathetic. I do not cry in front of my beloved because I don't want him to hurt as he sees my tears. I may cry in front of my immediate family but I hate myself afterwards.

This is possibly why I've yet to truly cross into that needing of each other in a relationship. Well, let me rephrase that and please don't think of me as heartless. I have an ability, as I said before, where I am able to shut myself down and not let the loss of a love affect me. But the person I'm leaving behind, he needs me.

I think that scares me. I don't ever want someone to become dependent on me because what happens the day I'm not able to live up to what they want and need? Reality will come crashing down on them that I am not the wonderful, amazing person they thought I was. And I guess losing them is easier than seeing the disappointment washed upon their face.

Oh me, oh my. I seem to have rambled off a little. I do apologize. But nonetheless, it's a good quote, is it not?

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